The Taming of the Skrewt
by khaleesis
Summary: Blast-Ended Skrewt: A magical creature. Extremely ill tempered making it hard to get close to one. (Marauders time period. Bellatrix/Rodolphus & Ted/Andromeda)
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER. WE SHOULD HAVE ESTABLISHED THIS BY NOW. (A/N at the end, due to it being a very long explanation.)**

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**_I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio / If I achieve not this young modest girl.  
_****_Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst; / Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt._**

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"Before you leave for the day," Slughorn announced as his students packed up, "I want to remind you that I'll be selecting your partners for the potions final this week."

This disappointed groans of students filled the air of the classroom before they were let out.

"Alright, alright! Dismissed!"

A chorus of scraping chairs filled the room as students rushed to leave. Ted Tonks slung his bag over his shoulder and headed out of the potions room. Double potions with the Ravenclaws wasn't Ted's favorite class, not by a landslide… but it gave him an excuse to head down to the dungeons for an hour. Ted looked around as he walked out and through the dungeons on his way back upstairs, scanning the halls for a dark head of hair. His eyes focused on just the girl he'd been looking for. Andromeda Black.

Although she bared a striking resemblance to her older, and much more terrifyingly hostile, sister Bellatrix, Andromeda was definitely the gentlest of the three. Her eyes contained a certain kindness that Bellatrix lacked and Ted was sure that she wasn't someone who would judge his blood or where his family came from.

Despite her resemblance to Bellatrix, Andromeda was also very beautiful in a very non-Bellatrix way and Ted couldn't tear his eyes from the back of her head as he walked down the hall behind her.

"Wipe the drool off your chin, Tonks," Ted heard behind him before feeling an arm sling over his shoulder.

"Leave me alone, Am, I'm not drooling," Ted said, his hand flying to his chin anyway.

Amycus Carrow was Ted's best friend and had been since their second year. Ted had fallen asleep in the common room one night and woke up to hear loud banging down the hall. He opened the door and walked down to the kitchens to find a very frustrated Slytherin kicking the portrait that led to the kitchens.

"What are you doing?" He'd asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Someone told me that this is the door to the kitchens but they never told me how to open it!" Amycus said before giving it another kick to accent his point.

"You're supposed to tickle the pear," Ted said, reaching up and tickling the green pear. It giggled and turned into a doorknob, which he promptly used to open the door to the kitchens.

The rest had been history as Amycus and Ted bonded over a bowl of pudding. Of course, it wasn't approved in the society that Amycus lived but he didn't care much about it. Ted and Amycus had a bond and like hell was anyone going to change that.

"You were drooling and I don't get why. She's as shallow as a puddle on flat land."

"You don't know her any better than I do."

"You aren't in the same house as her, are you?"

Ted sighed, his eyes going back to the dark haired girl several yards ahead of them.

"There's got to be more to her than the supremacist façade."

"It isn't much of a façade from my point of view, my friend."

"There's something else. Don't give me that."

"She's just like the rest. She may be a _little_ nicer but she's not what you make her out to be. I can prove it."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"Oi! Dromeda!"

"Amycus, what the f –"

"Yes, Amycus?"

She must have been closer to them than Ted realized because she was in front of them in seconds, in all her raven-haired beauty.

"Ted's got something he –"

"You dropped your quill," Ted interrupted, holding out his own quill to her. "Back there. You dropped it. I picked it up."

Andromeda looked from the quill to Ted, lifting a perfect eyebrow before tentatively reaching out and taking It from him.

"Thanks, I guess..."

"No problem. Anytime."

"See you later, then…" Andromeda said, turning with Emma Vanity and walking away.

Ted stood in complete and utter shock, watching her giggling with Emma as they got farther and farther from them.

"Ted? Was I right or was I right?"

"She said she'd see me later…"

"Oh, Merlin…"

"She said she'd see _me_ later!"

"It's a way of saying goodbye without looking like a bitch. It isn't like she agreed to bear your children."

"_Me_!"

Amycus pulled back and punch Ted hard in the arm.

"_Ow!_ What was that for?!"

"To bring you back to earth. She's not going to see you later."

"You didn't have to get physical about it…"

"Trust me, I did. You were losing it."

They started back to the Entrance Hall, Ted rubbing his arm.

"Oh God, she didn't mean it…" Ted said, suddenly.

"_Now_ he gets it."

"I just want her to get to know me… maybe she'd actually like me."

"Well, I _might_ have a plan."

"What?"

"Later, I'm hungry," Amycus said, heading into the Great Hall."

"But –"

"Listen, I know you're having a crisis but my stomach is having a crisis of its own and I'm sorry buddy but I've known my stomach since I was born. Food before dudes."

Ted sighed, shaking his head. He wasn't feeling too hungry himself."

"Fine. I'll catch up with you later then. And when I find you, I want to know your plan."

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**Reviews make me smile :3**

**__****A/N: This story, as you can see by the title and Lucentio's quote before the start of the chapter, is inspired by Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. Let me cover a few things before you get mad at me in the reviews. You're going to think some people are a bit out of character. I'd like to consider this kind of AU so, yes, they are going to be a bit OOC. Especially Amycus Carrow. Second, I'm quite aware that Blast-Ended Skrewts were not introduced, let alone created, until Harry Potter's fourth year but it went with the title. Bellatrix is supposed to be Katherina and Andromeda is meant to be Bianca. Skrewts are kind of like shrews so I thought it worked. Also, it rhymed. This A/N is starting to get way too long so I'm going to stop. If you have anymore concerns, you can leave them in the reviews and I'll try and explain them in the next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This took longer than I expected. I had up to six chapters written in a notebook and I remember writing it so well, I had a lot of witty (at least to me) dialogue and stuff with Rodolphus but when I found my notebook I had only written up to three chapters and I'm kicking myself because where could my notebook possibly be?! Hopefully I remember enough and I remember it fast but please enjoy this chapter. Happy reading :)**

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"We're going to _what_?!"

Amycus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as the two of them walked through the hallways.

"For the third time," he said, growing frustrated, "_you're_ going to tutor Andromeda."

"What exactly am I tutoring her in?"

"Herbology. I overheard that she needed help and like any of the Slytherins know anything about Herbology."

"_I_ don't know anything about Herbology!" Ted cried, "And how am I supposed to even get near her anyway? Bellatrix will tear my head off."

"This is where my genius self comes in. We pay Rodolphus Lestrange to distract Bellatrix."

Ted let out a strangled, hysterical laugh.

"Right. Like Rodolphus Lestrange would even look my way let alone let me pay him to date the most psychotic bitch in school."

"He comes in at close second. I think they'd make a lovely couple."

"There's still no way I'd be able to pay him. One, he hates me and, two, I don't have that kind of money."

"You don't have to be the one with the money."

"Then where does the money come from? You?"

"Oh, no, I don't want Andromeda. It's got to be someone who thinks they're going to benefit from this little deal we've got with Rod."

"And that is…?"

"Thaddeus Nott."

"Merlin, no! He hates me too!"

"No offense, Ted, but every Slytherin hates you."

"Even you?"

"That's a different kind of hate."

"Because that's really reassuring to hear."

"I'm messing with you."

"I still don't get how we're going to get Thaddeus to agree. Even if he will benefit."

"We give him the illusion that he'll have Andromeda in the end."

"If he's after her, I don't stand a chance."

"The guy's dumb as a troll."

"Dumb as a troll but he definitely doesn't look like one."

"Then he can have her, leave her broken and then you swoop in and fix her like the nice guy you are."

"That's horrible."

"That's life. Serves her right for being infatuated with a guy like Nott."

"I'm not doing that. I'd rather leave her alone than hurt her in the process."

"Then you'll just have to get the hell over it and tutor her."

"I don't even take Herbology. I don't know anything about it."

"Then you'd better get studying, eh?"

"You're an asshole."

"But I'm the cleverest asshole you'll ever meet," Amycus said. He clapped Ted on the shoulder before walking away into the Great Hall for lunch. Ted shook his head but following him anyway.

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"I saw you talking to that Tonks kid today," Bellatrix said, pacing in front of Andromeda.

"He was just giving me my quill back," Andy started, already knowing where this was going. Starting with an accusation like that from Bella was never good. "Nothing even ha–"

"I don't care if nothing happened. Something could have happened. Someone else could have seen."

"Like you don't ever have accidental encounters."

"I try to avoid them at all costs."

"Well it's not like I ran up to him. He was just returning my quill."

"If I were you I wouldn't have let the quill fall in the first place. Pack your things better next time."

"Why are you always reprimanding _me_?" Andromeda cried, standing from her seat, "You're always calling me out!"

"I don't see Cissa constantly trying my patience," Bella said, pointing to the blonde lounging lazily on an armchair, observing the argument silently.

"Because you're always keeping your eyes on me!" Andy yelled before turning and heading up to the dorms. Bella sighed and fell back on the chair Andromeda had been sitting on.

"I don't get it," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I'm just trying to help her. To save her from our parents later. They're much worse than I am."

"Maybe she needs to deal with our parents," Cissa said simply, "Maybe she should have to learn."

"They're harsher than I am and more strict when it comes to their rules. I'm only trying to keep her out of trouble."

"She's always been different… maybe she needs to have a bit of a harsh wake up call to realize what you're actually trying to do. It's either that or she learns to shape up on her own… which I highly doubt."

"I'm for the second option but you know how hard it is to get her to listen," Bella said, standing, "Merlin help her before she ends up in an argument with our parents."

"And, you know, I heard she'd been talking with Thaddeus Nott… he was getting a bit too friendly with her for my tastes," Andromeda said.

"Oh? When was this?"

"A few days ago at dinner."

"I'm going to go find him," Bella said, turning around to head out of the common room.

"Give him my regards," Cissa called after her as she left, returning to her book.

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**Reviews make me smile :)**

**P.S. This is actually more of a '10 Things I Hate About You' thing but I thought since _that_ was based off of 'The Taming of the Shrew' it would work. **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HP**

**A/N: Okay, so here's the thing... my notebook is gone forever. I have no idea where it went so I had to completely redo up to four chapters from scratch ): I'm sorry this took so long. School just started and I'm still getting situated. More to come soon, I promise.**

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"Amycus, I can't do it."

"Well, you're going to have to."

"They don't like me."

"Obviously."

Amycus practically drag Ted by his hair down to the lake where Thaddeus Nott and his gang of Slytherins were. They'd made it most of the way before Ted finally brought Amycus to a halt.

"Look, if I ask him, in front of his friends no less, I'll get the crap hexed out of me."

"But that builds character."

"Shut up, I just can't do it, okay?"

"Fine. I'll bring him here or something."

"Or ask for me?" Ted hinted, nudging Amycus with his elbow.

"No."

Ted watched as Amycus walked further on. He hid behind a bush as Amycus came to a stop before the group.

"Oi, Carrow!" Thomas Avery called out, "Where's your pet mudblood?"

"Or are you the pet?" Walden MacNair chimed in.

"Come to terms with your stupidity and decide to hang out with more appropriate colleagues?" Asked Lucinda Talkalot.

"Shut it, all of you. I need a word with Nott."

"What for?" Nott asked.

"I've got a deal I'd like to make with you."

"What kind of a deal?"

"A deal. Just come with me… this needs to be made in private."

Ted tensed as he heard the Slytherins near his hiding place.

"It's no secret you've got a thing for Andy," Amycus started.

"What about her?"

"The thing about having a thing for her is that you can't get near her without Bellatrix getting in the way… am I correct?"

"I'd really like to know where you're going with this, Carrow."

"Do you _really_ want Andromeda?"

"And if I do?"

"Well, you need Bella out of the way."

"And I suppose you know a way to get rid of her?"

"Yes, indeed. But it'll cost you."

"You want me to pay you to get Bellatrix out of the way?"

"No, you're going to pay Lestrange."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because, let's face it, he's the only one that can get her distracted enough for you to claim Andy as your own."

"And if he doesn't?"

"For Merlin's sake!" Ted cried, standing up. He'd grown tired of the argument between the two of them. "I'll do it!"

"I don't need a mudblood to do my business for me. I'll do it myself."

"Great, we've got a deal." Amycus said, "Let's go."

"Where exactly are we going?"

"The Quidditch pitch. Where else are we supposed to find Lestrange?"

They walked the way there, finding Rodolphus Lestrange sitting in the stands polishing his Nimbus.

"Oi, Lestrange," Nott called, causing Rod to look up from his broom.

"Ah, look who it is. Come to grace me with your presence?" Rodolphus said, put his rag down.

"I have a proposition for you," Nott said.

"Regarding?"

"Bellatrix Black," Ted spoke up.

Rodolphus' eyes widened before a smirk broke across his face.

"The harpy? What about her?"

"See, Nott here's got a keen interest in Andromeda," Amycus began.

"Who doesn't?"

"And he can't get to her without Bellatrix getting in the way."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"We'd like you to… distract her."

"Distract her?" Rodolphus repeated, rubbing his chin, "Elaborate."

"Just… distract her. Get close to her. Take her out. Just get her to stop being so protective of Andy so our man Nott here can have a shot at wooing the bird," Amycus said, clapping Thaddeus on the shoulder only to receive a sharp glare.

"Alright, then… how much are we talking?"

"Twenty galleons."

"Twenty? Gee, mister, that's enough for a whole bag of sweets from Honeydukes!" Rod said sarcastically, "I'm going to need at least forty."

"Forty?! What for?"

"Let's see… ten to bribe Slughorn to switch partners in class so that we're paired up, twenty to actually take her out and ten for me."

"What do you need ten for."

"Service charge," Rod said with a cheeky grin.

"You know what? Forget –"

"_Nott!_"

The four of them whipped around to the entrance to the Quidditch pitch where a very angry Bellatrix was storming in.

"Shite…" Nott muttered.

"How many times have I told you to stay _away_ from my sister?"

"Not enough, apparently," Rodolphus said.

"I don't think this involved you, Lestrange," Bella said, turning toward him with a sinister glare.

"Hey, I was here first. Take your little spat somewhere else, princess."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and turned back to Nott. "If I hear about you talking to her one more time, I'll cut your bollocks off and feed them to the squid."

She turned sharply on her heel and left the pitch as quickly as she came. Rodolphus watched after her as she left, whistling in astonishment.

"Looks like you're really going to need the help, mate. I'm going to have to bump that up to sixty."

"You know what? Here," Nott said, taking his coinpurse out and handing it to Rod, "Sixty galleons. And it better be worth the money."

"Believe me," Rod said with a smug smirk, "I don't do anything half-assed."

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**Reviews make me smile :)**


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